Feeling the Feelings and Seeing the Difference

It's been a minute since I wrote on a platform other than the comfort of my notebook and pen.  The raw emotions just don't feel the same when you cannot see how the writing was written.  Truly, a lot can be read between the lines of scribbled, half-cursive handwriting or neat, well-thought-out, printed lettering.  I believe emotions play a stronger role than we realize in all aspects of life, but isn't that was makes it so incredible?

I can't say I opened a new page on this blog to talk about writing aspects and how it's not just the words but the feelings written in those words that tell the story too, yet here I am doing just that.  But really, have you ever thought of that?  As a writer, I notice when my handwriting goes from serious to playful to anxious to rushed, all simply by looking at the words I wrote down, not even reading them.  

Maybe this is just a writer thing, but I think it goes deeper than the initial thoughts and practices.  We like to assume that perfect, pretty writing correlates to well-thought out ideas but I find some of my loopiest handwriting to be when I can feel the words flowing out of me.  And those are my favorite writing days.  I don't think.  I just write.  I can feel the words.  I can breathe the energy.  I can taste the fire that moves through me as those words hit that paper.  It's magical to some degrees but not in a Disney princess kind of way.  It's deeper, coming from the mysteries of life only God can enlighten us about.  Those, those are my favorite writings.

There comes a day when the world no longer stops.

    When the world keeps living and I'm just here.

For the people who can keep living, I give you props.

    But for me, that's my biggest fear.

This life won't wait for me to explore.

    The tick of the clock is always near.

I'm waiting to walk through that new door.

    But first, I might as well stop for a beer.

        Tick.  One second goes by.

        Tock.  Two days later.

        Tick.  Three years just happened.

        Tock.  Four words... Where did time go?

There comes a day when the world no longer stops.

    Days turn into nights and I'm still just living.

I look around and my stomach drops.

    Not living, but barely surviving.